feeling blue?

As we shift into fall, a natural time of death, we begin to feel the year coming to a close.  It's natural to feel blue.  Hey, let's face it, we are human, not every day is sunshine and roses.  We all have days where we don't want to get out of bed.  I'll admit, it's harder for me to motivate when the sun isn't shining and the gloomy months of winter are upon us.  Never mind what's going on in the world and how that affects us.  It's hard to believe that something as simple as a sunny day can lift your spirits.  I just learned that today is World Suicide Prevention Day which prompted me to write this blog.

I know a little bit about suicide.  There were a couple times in my life, when I found someone I will leave unmentioned very close to me that had tried to kill themselves.  I knew they were suffering and I hesitated calling 911.  Why?  Because I knew how dark their world had become and how every day was a struggle.  I knew they would be mad at me if they survived.  I still called anyway.  Several years later and with help, life is still a struggle, but it's not as dark as it was on that day.  A few years later, I found a young man who had killed himself at the beach.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I was taking a sunrise walk and nobody was around.  Again, I called 911.  I wondered what could have been so hopeless in his life, if only I was there a little sooner, what could have happened.

Earlier this year, I was approached to do the Untold Stories Project in Hartford to let people know they aren't alone.  I asked for volunteers to share their own story, without words, to let the photograph speak for itself which I will leave with you here.  I was humbled by the experience and that each and everyone one who volunteered trusted me enough to become vulnerable.  When you allow yourself to be seen, I do believe in the healing powers it has on those lives we touch.  I'm so grateful to everyone who participated in this special project.

Even in my own dark times, I have held onto the hope that the sun will rise in the morning and it's a new day, a new beginning, a choice to do things differently.  I try and use the darkness to create and transform that which needs to be acknowledged and released.  Surrender into the unknown and know you are never alone.


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